Rainbows and Otter Pelt

This year, around the holidays, I find myself struggling with materialism. Seeing the commercials on TV, watching shows and movies that depict families in ideal settings that really are not realistic to the majority of Americans. And definitely not the rest of the world. I find myself wishing my circumstances were different. Better. Wishing I had a bigger, better house. Wishing I was more comfortable financially. Wishing I had made different choices that would potentially have allowed me to be in better circumstances.

Then, I realized I was losing my focus. I am allowing materialism to become more important to me than what Jesus tells me should be important. i am beginning to pursue what this work tells me is important no longer pursuing Jesus.

This makes me reflect that I am thankful for the financial hardships I have faced. The Lord knows where each of our hang ups lie. He knows that if I am financially secure, I would be much less likely to seek Him. And He desires to have a relationship with me. He pursues me by creating circumstances where I will hopefully make the choice to turn to Him. For this I am thankful. I want to keep pursuing Jesus, not what this world deems important. And dare I say tries to tell us is necessary.

What are you pursuing? What do you find yourself focusing on? A career? Having a nice car or a larger house? Living in a certain neighborhood? Having all the latest and greatest electronics and gadgets? We are surrounded by voices and images telling us we need all these things. It is so easy to become distracted from what is really important and next thing you know, you are pursuing things of this world, not Christ. Jesus tells us in Matthew 6 to store up treasures in heaven. “For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also.”

I want to pursue Jesus. I want my treasures to be stored up in heaven. Thank you Jesus, for pursuing me. For allowing circumstances in my life that redirect my focus to you. I do not want to become distracted by what this world has to offer. I want to desire you more than anything else.

I enjoy the season of autumn. Call my a bit crazy but one of the things I enjoy is cleaning up leaves. There is something catharsis about clearing an area of fallen leaves. Last year as I was working on a parking lot, and the wind would come along and blow the leaves right back from where I had moved them, I thought about how relevant that is to life. When we work against what God is trying to do with our lives (aka blowing leaves against the wind) life can be difficult. But when we will work with God, life seems much easier (aka moving leaves in the same direction as the wind).

Friday, I was once again out clearing leaves with a back pack blower. Some of the leaves were frozen to the surface of the deck and I thought “How like us. Sometimes God tries to move us and we are just stuck in one place.” As I am moving leaves , in a certain direction I like to work them, the wind would blow them back. I thought of my analogy from last year (mentioned above) and said “God, work with me here!” Then I just stopped. It dawned on me, how many times do we say that in life? “God, work with me. Give me this or that. Make this happen.” Instead, we should be asking for Him to reveal His will for us. James tells us in James 4:13-16, “Now listen you who say, ‘Today or tomorrow we will go to this or that city, spend a year there, carry on business and make money’. Why, you do not even know what will happen tomorrow. What is your life? You are a mist that appears for a little while and then vanishes. Instead, you ought to say, ‘If it is the Lord’s will, we will live and do this or that.'”

As I was clearing leaves, instead of crying “Lord, work with me!”, I began to ask for Him to give me insight so that I could use the wind to my benefit. That is also what we should do with our lives. Instead of asking God to give us something we think would be best for us, we should ask Him to give us insight. To reveal His will. Or at least show us the next step in the direction He wants us to go. We should be seeking to work with Him. It will make life a little easier.

Lately, I have been struggling with letting go of my previous successful professional career. This week would have been my last board meeting with Professional Grounds Management Society (PGMS) but with other life circumstances happening, I opted not to attend. It’s probably one of those blessings in disguise. While I am sad to have missed the opportunity to visit with my professional friends and colleagues one more time, it would have been bittersweet, and perhaps harder to walk away. While in Ukraine on mission, I received a phone call from a head hunter about a director of Grounds opportunity. I followed the lead wondering where it might go. Was this an opportunity from God, or a distraction from Satan? This is one of those instances where I miss my dad’s wisdom. He never told me what to do. But he would ask questions and make statements that would make you think. God sent a friend that for a moment in time was that voice of wisdom. He said “Don’t let the success of your past hold you back from you future.”

Are you allowing something from your past to hold you back? Is there something you need to let go of? It could be a past hurt. Somebody said or did something that hurt you and your having a tough time moving past it. It could have been an injustice that you experienced and your waiting for the wrong to be righted. Or you may have lost a loved one or someone close to you and your holding on to the memory, not allowing yourself to move forward. Or as me, you may be holding on to a past success, reluctant to move into unfamiliar territory.

Change can be hard. When God is moving you to a new place, sometimes it is hard to let go of the old place. Especially if it seems like a nice place. The Israelites also had a hard time letting go. While they were in the wilderness – and mind you the Lord was ever present with them, residing in the tabernacle, going before them in a pillar of fire or a cloud of smoke, even providing for their daily needs with manna from heaven – they longed for the “good ol’ days”. “We remember the fish which we used to eat free in Egypt, the cucumbers and the melons and the leeks and the onions and the garlic, but now our appetite is gone. There is nothing at all to look at except this manna.” (Numbers 11:5-6). Wait. Did you forget that while you had this variety of food you were a slave? And you had a hard task master? God was working a wonder in them. And He is in us too. He was leading them to the Promised Land. A place much better than Egypt. “For the Lord you God is bringing you into a good land, a land of brooks or water, of fountains and springs, flowing forth in valleys and hills, a land of wheat and barley, of vines and fig trees and pomegranates, a land of olive oil and honey, a land where you shall eat food without scarcity, in which you shall not lack anything” (Deut. 8:7-9). Oh, but first you have to leave where you are. He’s nőt bringing it to you. He’s taking you to it. And you have to let go of what’s holding you back.

Deut. 11:10-12. “For the land into which you are entering to possess it, is not like the land of Egypt from which you came, where you used to sow your seed and water it with your foot like a vegetable garden. But the land into which you are about to cross to possess it, a land of hills and valleys, drinks water from the rain of heaven, a land for which the Lord your God cares, the eyes of the Lord your God are always on it, from the beginning even to the end of the year.”

Where would you rather be? In Egypt where there are good things, and yes you are receiving some blessings. Or would you prefer to be in your promised land where the eyes of the Lord are always on it? Where He wants you to be. You got to let go of what’s holding you back. I’ve got to let you go of my past success to move forward and grasp my future.

“There is an appointed time for everything. And there is a time for every event under heaven”. Ecclesiastes 3:1

“The Lord’s loving kindness indeed never ceases, for His compassion’s never fail.”

We experience seasons in our lives just as there are seasons throughout the year. Some of our seasons are broad strokes through our lives, such as retirement. Some seasons are short timeframes, such as my timeframe of returning to school. Some seasons pass quickly and some linger.

Some seasons you can prepare for. Just as you would prepare for harvest, and prepare for planting. But some seasons hit unexpectedly and you seem unprepared for them.

Through all the different seasons in our lives, joyous as well as sad, one thing remains. And one thing is constant. That is God’s love. Seasons change, God’s love remains.

As I navigate the waters of this season adjusting to the fact that my dad is no longer on earth, that I can no longer call him to share good news, or ask his advice, I can rely on God’s unfailing love. Oh what a peace that brings to my soul.

Dad was always there for us growing up. He gave us the courage to make those leaps.

Dad making his famous Angel biscuits while cooking on one of our youth mission trips

Dad retired from US Missile Command and accomplished his life dream of mission work through Campers on Mission.

My mother has a Mexican Petunia in her garden in the backyard. While I am visiting her, I noticed in the mornings it is full of blooms. The butterflies and hummingbirds are fluttering and flying around it. By evening, the blooms are scattered across the bright green grass like purple confetti. And the next morning … full of blooms again.

It reminds me of God’s love and compassion. It is new every morning. “His compassion’s never fail. They are new every morning; great is your faithfulness.” Lamentations 3:22-23.

My devotion yesterday mentioned keeping my eyes open for God’s communication with us. While I am mourning the loss of my Dad, I have an underlying peace that is hard to describe. It is just a comforting presence. And while I am sad for my family, and know my dad will be missed by many, I know he is rejoicing with Jesus. Watching the Mexican Petunia burst forth with bloom every morning, providing sustenance to butterflies and birds, is one of God’s ways of communicating with me. Reminding me that He is with me each and every day. And His live and compassion for me does not run out. It is new everyday. Just as this plant continues to bloom, He will continue to comfort me and my family. Great is His faithfulness.

I am so glad that I had the opportunity to travel on two medical missions this summer. My dad got to see the fruition of my dream. One of the last things we did together was he helped me compose my donation request letter and prepare the mailings. Thank you to all who made this dream a reality.

As part of a team of volunteers from North Carolina working alongside Hungarian translators and Hungarian Baptist Aid personnel, we held 4 clinics in Ukrainian Roma villages and provided medical care to 670 people.

Working in the pharmacy was quite an experience. The pharmacist, David, was great to work with. He was patient, caring, and willing to answer questions. We had long days filling medication needs and assembling the medications for the next day in the evenings.

What a privilege to show the Roma people that God loves them.

1 Corinthians 15:58 “Always give yourselves fully to the work of the Lord, because you know that your labor in the Lord is not in vain.”

This verse describes my Dad. From a small child, I remember him serving in the church as a deacon or Sunday school teacher. There was a time period where he was the Sunday school teacher for the two year olds. After he retired, my parents joined Campers on Mission and traveled all over the United States doing construction projects. While my dad was building or rebuilding houses, churches, and other Christian facilities, my mom worked with the other ladies on sewing projects or conducting a puppet ministry for children and in nursing homes.

My dad has been an excellent example of how to quietly and humbly serve the Lord. He has shown me how an introvert who is task oriented can have an impact on this world for the Lord.

On Monday, August 27, God called my father home. It is hard for me to grasp why because he was till busy doing God’s work. He had a construction project planned for September at the state baptist conference center. Dad can say:

“I have fought the good fight, I have finished the course, I have kept the faith”.

2 Timothy 4:7

When your day begins with an ex special ops guy giving you instructions on safety/security, you wonder what you have gotten yourself into.

Today, we drove into Ukraine from Hungary. It was a beautiful drive with fields of sunflowers lining the road and the Carpathian mountain range in the distance. And then we arrived at the border crossing. There were checks on Hungarian side and Ukraine side. It took about an hour and a half but all our medications made it through. The conditions of the roadway rapidly declined as we moved away from the border. After an interesting amusement like ride dodging pot holes in the road, we arrived at our destination. Tomorrow is our first day of clinic.

Out flight from US was rerouted to Boston for a mechanical issue. After sitting in Boston for close to 4 hours, we finally left around midnight. Luckily we originally had a 6 hour lay over in Paris. With the delay, we arrived with just enough time to clear customs and find our gate before boarding began for flight to Budapest. We arrived safely. Tomorrow we will have a team meeting with our Hungarian interpreters and then make the 4 hour drive across the border to Ukraine. My medical mission adventure has begun!

It is easier to walk in faith when life is easy – no worries or concerns. But when we have trials, worries, God calls us to leave our comfort zones -it is harder to walk in faith. Later today, I leave on a medical mission to Ukraine. I have never been on a flight longer than 4.5 hours. I am traveling to a part of the world I have never been, with a group of people I have only met briefly. And it is not a good time to be out of touch for 2 weeks. Last week, my father received some concerning medical news. Tests are being done and he will receive results while I am gone. Psalm 18:2 “The Lord is my rock, my fortress and my deliverer; my God is my rock, in whom I take refuge, my shield and the horn of my salvation, my stronghold.”

When God calls us out, He promises to be with us. He is calling us out for Him and His purposes, not calling us out because of anything we did or can do in our own strength. It is to glorify Him. Joshua 1:9 “Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go.”